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Domidroid - an adventure among the afflicted
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Written by Domidroid
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Thursday, 02 July 2009 17:02 |
Got everything really clean, like a model home, and gave the kids a bath.
Excited about something, I found a new poetry site, everyone there's really nice to me, and blown away by my work. It feels awesome, the best I've felt in a long time, and it's really so nice after ...other experiences on poetry sites.
And these guys really need me, WP is doing great, lots of awesome new writers and plans, so you know, whatever.
Lots of great ideas, and I'm deciding when to go see my family again. Many errands to run this weekend, decorating my room. It needs to be a little more of a work space, it looks really loungy right now, with my harps and pictures of clouds. Need a change, big changes all around. Getting bored with luxurious sadness, and received a particularly fetching compliment from another writer, a guy in Virginia, Picses with a very noble understanding of love, and all the twists and turns. It was great to really just talk to someone. I was grateful afterward, and cried. I honestly think he was placed in my path for a reason. I wonder what he's doing, he lives with a bloodhound on an old plot. They have an old jalopy they go to Burning Man in every year.
Of course, it's not a romantic thing, just fun talking. Whatever it was, I feel luminous again, like I can do things.
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Written by Domidroid
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Thursday, 02 July 2009 08:29 |
Me and The Smiths here (That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore), no longer excited about summer, and likely hanging out in my room the whole time. Amazing, just a day or so ago, I was brimming with fun ideas, and places to go. Now, I can't think of a single one, the word 'fun' turns up blank. My fingers have that coldness again., but I'll keep hubby's rule, no more dead people web sites, he doesn't understand how alluring they are with their clean slates and lifted burdens.
I know, gory pictures of suicides and car wrecks don't sound fun, and no, they're not fun, but they really draw me, I think I understand. I wonder about the suicides, like did they look at old pictures first? Think of calling old friends, then reconsider? Was there a nanosecond of regret when they realized they were undoubtedly concluding? I think the saddest was a girl about 17, in Brazil somewhere, gorgeous mixed race girl with long black curls, being sliced from a noose. So unfair, a flower like that doing the ceiling swing, and hordes of unwonderful clods who go on living, maybe like me.
Anne Sexton was right about so much, especially wishes.
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Written by Domidroid
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Thursday, 02 July 2009 02:10 |
Left the cold place
just in time
to catch the sleight of hand.
to run up morning embracing,
wake the solar fields.
Stood at the window
grey sky and restless birds
headed for clouds full of ocean.
I'm also flown
better today, less quick to forget
scores to settle don't make good friends.
Glass, ironic aviary
myself, soaring frozen to casual clouds,
understanding.
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Written by Domidroid
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Wednesday, 01 July 2009 15:59 |
Funny day.
Feeling rolicky, like bouncing around all naughty.
Had a pretty long phone conversation with my sister. I have to say, we Black women are pretty funny when we get together, the power we speak, everything's under control. We stitch up lives in seconds, with no messy hanging threads. What a trippy vibration for me to be born into, thinking about it, I can see why I did it, my family needs me (I'm the only fire, they're all earth and water). They can get so mired in the earthly and mundane, the etherial vibe lifts them up, makes them laugh (for all it's occasional inconvenience, fire is still air, just very hot, with a little solidity).
Also talked to kid, odd to be giving my daughter love advice (or anyone), I just told her to make sure he's deep, and strong, the only type to handle a daughter of mine. I worry, but know I can't do too much. At this age, any advice is headed for the ass end of her i-pod headphones. But thinking of her, I actually feel sorry for all those junior pinheads trying to get anywhere with her, she's a little eagle, she's got her mama's aloof, and eyes that see what guys think they're hiding. She's like an astoundingly beautiful version of me, horrifying (what have I done? lol).
Taking this day for myself, gearing up to ride the next creative cycle. A big one coming tonight, easier to write pictures then.
Hubby and I had a talk this morning, about where to take our little gypsy caravan, I think Vancouver BC would be teh awesome, as would Hawaii, Toulouse, Humboldt or Oregon, we just need to finally pick a spot. Preferably, someplace with land attached, so we can do what we want. I'm a weirdo, that could mean anything...
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Written by Domidroid
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Tuesday, 30 June 2009 14:03 |
Past yesterday's feeling.
Ever have a situation you knew was hopeless, and that you should just quietly move on? I'm having one of those. I want all the time in the world, with someone who only wants me, and other things that don't exist. So today, maybe less interest in life.
But on the bright side, my husband recently remade his offer to send me someplace alone for a while. Adventures again, and time to remember myself. I admit, I do miss the way people respond to me, it helps tremendously, the devotion, shrinks days like this to nothing. I can make people love me, enough to go to pieces when I show up, but never the right ones.
Anyway, guess I'll be ok in a few days, after time to adjust, and strangle my cartographer.
New course, not excited, just stubborn.
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